I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
