More tranny stories later!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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