he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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