i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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