Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My dad just said "fuck circus"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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