even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
