A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Too much gin, very little bucket
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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