apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
