she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
