actually, I'm a sock model
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
