My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
