Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
