And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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