Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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