you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
