Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
