i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
