woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
