Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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