You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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