guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
