well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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