i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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