I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
