I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
