And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
