"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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