i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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