If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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