I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
