I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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