It's like God shit irony all over that family
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
