In the future we'll all be gay
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
