don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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