Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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