Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
