you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
