Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
