he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
