I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
