Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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