Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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