dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
