So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
