My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
