Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
