Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
