Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
