I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
