my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
