So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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