the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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