well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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