Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she pinky promised me she was 18
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
