I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
