It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
