apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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