At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
