apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
