naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
