u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
