she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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