I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
