I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
pop tarts are not kleenex
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
