You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
