I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
