Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
