office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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