This girl is more easily done than said...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My penis needs a shock collar
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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