you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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