yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
