ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
