just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
