I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
