I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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