i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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