fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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