Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
