Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
